People Do Not Cross Our Paths By Accident
“Excuse me, ma’am? I wonder if you could help me,” she said softly.
On my way to the checkout line with a few grocery items, I stopped and turned to the young woman, expecting a request for help in locating an elusive item needed for a new dish she was making for dinner.
“I need formula for my baby,” she said.
A toddler, about 12 months old, sat in her cart. My heart sank. Not today.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that,” I told her.
I pushed my cart along. To cover my guilt, I justified my action: I was busy. Besides, I’d read time and again that handouts weren’t the best way to help people in need. I hear about scams all the time. I was jaded, thinking of the time I’d given a woman at a gas station a twenty-dollar bill for gas to get home and then watched her leave the station on foot.
But I couldn’t be scammed if I wasn’t handing over cash for who knows what. Before I knew it, my cart turned around and headed back to the woman. I had time to add the needed baby formula to my cart for checkout.
I wish I had a nice little ending that tied a bow around this story about how we each were blessed by our connection. But I do not.
A floor manager was talking with the woman. I watched the exchange, planning to buy the formula when they were finished if he didn’t give it to her. I hadn’t noticed the woman’s cart before. In it, she had placed a case of formula, Baby Wipes, bottles, and a few other things from the baby aisle. Both mom and baby wore clean clothes and looked healthy. Mom had a fresh coat of polish on her nails.
I couldn’t hear the conversation, but the employee was no doubt telling her she must leave the store. She pleaded a bit; he listened and gently, but firmly, refused her until she lifted the child from the cart and headed out the door.
As I placed my groceries on the conveyor belt, I still had the urge to help. Maybe I’d find the mother and child in the parking lot when I finished my purchase. But she was not to be found.
Disappointed with myself and burdened by the incident, I prayed about it on the drive home. The realization that there were better avenues to provide for a baby than in the manner I witnessed entered my mind. In my area, food banks, churches, the the Salvation Army are eager to help. The supplemental nutrition program WIC (Women, Infant, and Children) is available for all who qualify.
So what if, instead of scurrying past the woman in fear of a scam, I’d stopped to talk with her? Got her story and assessed her situation. No matter the motivations behind her actions, she was in need of something. I could’ve put her in touch with an agency that might provide long term help. I could certainly have shared a little of Christ’s love with her.
That’s what I’ll do next time something like this happens, I resolved. Back home, I added resources to my phone in a folder labeled “Helping Hands” so I’d be prepared for similar interactions in the future.
Father, Thank You for putting this woman in my path. Thank you for forgiving my lack of action and showing me ways I can minister to others by being prepared and willing to share a little of my time. A little of You. Amen.
So what if, instead of scurrying past the woman in fear of a scam, I’d stopped to talk with her? Got her story and assessed her situation. No matter the motivations behind her actions, she was in need of something. I could certainly… Share on XI’m curious about your thoughts on this. Has something similar happened to you?
A couple of times, I’ve given people three or four dollars. But my husband and I have both been retail managers, and we’ve dealt with scammers in stores. I don’t blame you for choosing to say no. Someone once told me that, if they really compelled to help the person, they offer to bring them food from a nearby restaurant, instead of giving cash.
Yeah, it can be a dilemma for sure. I think we have to honor those times we feel compelled to help by trusting it is from God.
Thanks for your insight!
I’ve had numerous situations where I’ve been approached for money. Often I’ve refused, just saying, “No, I’m sorry.” But, many other times, I’ve given some money. I don’t know why I feel the call to give some of the time and not others. I’ve used the reasoning that if they are scamming me, God will punish them. Your message shares valuable insight. There are many ways we can help that may not involve money. Thanks for sharing.
When we’re approached for help in these cases, we have to respond immediately without taking the time to pray for guidance. It’s probably better to err on the side of giving rather than the other way around by trusting our instincts.
Candyce, I can be cynical too. I’ve seen scams, and it makes you leery. I love your solution. I should put together a card like that. One of the gals in my Bible study makes bags filled with items everyone can use. She hands them out to those who are at intersections and says, “God bless you.”
Debbie,
I love your friend’s solution. Such a great idea. I can see that being a project for a women’s ministry group, especially in an area with a high population of homelessness.
Candyce, I remember a time, quite a number of years ago, my husband and I chaperoned a mission trip with our youth, and the house we were assigned to needed some major work on a bathroom in the home. They’d basically not had indoor plumbing for a bit. We were all too ready to work, until we arrived and saw a large satellite dish in the yard, a four wheeler in the yard, and very nice vehicles there, also. But then I remembered what our children’s minister always says in circumstances like that, and that is that though the adults may have gotten themselves in this situation, the children are the ones suffering, and they didn’t ask to be in this situation. So, we worked for the children in the family, and asked God to resolve the rest. Now, I wish I could say I always have that attitude, but, honestly, I fail many times. Thanks for the reminder to keep myself prepared ahead of time, with resources or ideas, so that I can be helpful when I have this kind of encounter.
Julie,
That’s a good way to respond to these type situations. As a former elementary school teacher, I had to remind myself that needy children are innocent victims of sometimes horrendous situations. Thanks for sharing your memory!
Well stated Ms. Candyce. I too have ignored the pleas of someone when I discerned they were not in sincere need. Often, I’ve had 2 Thessalonians 3:10 come into my mind. Other times, I am overwhelmed with compassion for someone. Not long ago, I was standing in the checkout line at my local Wal-Mart. While waiting my turn, I noticed a young couple with a very young child. Of course, the kindly old grandpa in me had to comment. Checkout was a taking “Wal-Mart time) (i.e. longer than normal), and I noticed the couple had a case of formula in their cart. I also noticed the dad, who was in what I think were his work clothes yet, had his credit card in his hand. I thought this strange, but let the thought pass. Then, as the belt started moving forward with my items, I was prompted to lean over and ask the cashier to include this couple’s purchase on my bill. She agreed. The result, a wonderful blessing. The couple thanked me profusely, and the dad (noticing one of my arms in a sling) offered to unload my groceries. I simply responded that “God has blessed me my entire life young man. Thank you for allowing me to pass along one of His blessings to you and your family.” I’m not sure if they’ll ever attend a church (of if they do already). My job, in that moment, was to simply plant a seed of kindness. Just like you do young lady. God’s blessings.
J.D., I just had a hearty laugh after reading 2 Thes. 3:10. Your comment makes me feel better about my initial reaction, and I believe God used it to teach me something about myself. Thank goodness He is not finished with me but always at the potter’s wheel.
Your Walmart story was a blessing to me.