A Triple-Braided Cord Strengthens Marriage
One of the more devastating events in my life was the end of my thirty-year marriage. I spent the next ten years as a single. During this time, I discovered God’s grace, for His power was perfected in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). God drew me close, and our relationship blossomed.
God helped me thrive at work and provided a church family that gave me a warm sense of belonging. I celebrated joyous events with my family – graduations, weddings, and the birth of grandchildren. A group of friends and activities filled spare time.
Occasionally, I grew lonely but maintained gratitude for God’s blessings. I discovered the abundant life Jesus promises in John 10:10.
I was content.
After ten years of single hood, I met someone. I wasn’t looking—why upset the applecart?
We married six years ago and I love sharing life with him. It hasn’t always been easy. Challenges and doubts have lined the highway of our journey together.
We were old enough to be set in our ways when we met. But there he was, and eventually God convinced me He dropped him into my life for a reason. We click along in an easy rhythm now while laughing a lot. It helps that I’m no longer young and spiritually immature. I know who I am in Christ. And I know who he is.
Cord of Three Strands
Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 shows us why marriage is a beautiful thing between man and woman and goes on to state, “three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”
When husband and wife are interwoven with God, the bond is much stronger. The cord of three strands represents the joining of the groom, bride, and God in marriage. “Where two are closely joined in holy love and fellowship, Christ will by his Spirit come to them; then there is a threefold cord” (Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary).
Maintaining the Cord of Three Strands
Keeping this triple-braided cord taut doesn’t happen automatically. As with most good things in life, we have to work on it. We’ve discovered a few things that help.
- Pray Together
We pray together when there’s a family need or worry facing us. We realize we need to improve in this area because praying together brings us closer to each other and to God at the same time.
2. Pray for Each Other
At first, I prayed for my husband in general terms—his health, safety, a work situation. It grew stale and uninspiring. Then I discovered a free resource: 31 Days of Prayer for My Spouse offered by Christian writer Cathy Baker. Cathy suggests specific topics to pray each day. When my spouse doesn’t have a specific need, I pull the calendar from my Bible and choose one.
Cathy offers plenty of other resources on her site and through her interactive Facebook Group Creative Pauses.
3. Share Devotion Time
Last year, we read through Lori Hatcher’s devotional, Moments with God for Couples. I learned things about my husband I didn’t know, like the type of gifts he prefers. One of my favorite devotions suggested we practice paying compliments to each other.
We started most weekdays with fifteen minutes of devotion time. Sometimes schedules caused us to miss, but we remained devoted to this time together. A huge plus is we took turns ending each devotion with prayer (see #1).
We started this year by completing Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages Survey and are deciding on a book to read together. Many devotionals and resources for couples are out there for your consideration. It’s never too late to strengthen the cord of three strands.
Marriage is not an Automatic Happily-Ever-After Fairytale
When we marry and expect a magical fairytale, disappointment ensues.
A wiser approach is to link arms with God, you on one side and your husband on the other. Honor God in everything you do and involve Him in every significant decision. God will bless your marriage.
Wishing you a loving Valentine’s Day! What steps will you take to strengthen your cord of three strands?
Book Giveaway Winner
Thank you for your feedback on Marilyn Nutter’s new book, Hope for Widows. Congratulations to Jackie Freeman for winning the drawing! I also heard from readers through email who expressed appreciation for the book, or how they shared the post with widowed friends. Thank you, Marilyn, for sharing the excerpt, “Anchors,” from your book. Find it here if you missed it.
Until next time…
Immersed in His Love,
Candyce
Great tips for a sustainable marriage that includes God at the center. I’m so sorry for your struggles but glad that God provided you with a new companion. Blessings to you both for many more years together Candyce.
Thank you, Yvonne. Marriage can be such a blessing.
I love this post, Candyce, and I love the cord of three strands and what it represents. We need God in our marriages to survive all that comes against us and our families.
Thanks, LuAnn. I have nothing to add but “Amen.”
Praying for each other, praying together, and sharing a devotional book are 3 excellent ways to strengthen our marriages! Thanks for your insights, Candyce!
Thank you, Kathy.
I truly don’t know how a couple survives without God in the center. When I am weak, he is strong. Nearing thirty-eight years now and God gets all the credit. Thanks for sharing yourself with us Candyce.
Thirty-eight years – that’s wonderful, Terri. I truly celebrate with couples with such milestones. For a marriage to thrive – not merely endure – God must be in it. And I know you have a thriving marriage.
Thank you, Candyce, for sharing your story and these excellent suggestions. I know I desperately need God to be the strong cord in my marriage relationship.
And the sooner we figure out a strand of three cords is necessary, the better.
Candyce, thanks for sharing this message and ways to strengthen marriage. My husband and I need to take this advice. Marriage can become mundane if we’re not careful.
Anyone married long enough knows careful maintenance is required to maintain a strong marriage. God showed me that spending time with God in devotion and prayer with our mates brings us closer and helps us know and appreciate each other more. So not only does it keep a marriage together, but it also makes a marriage stronger.
Your tips for a successful marriage are so right. We can’t do anything without God, especially marriage. Thanks for sharing on this important topic, Candyce.
A successful marriage does require work and sacrifice, and keeping God at its center is crucial. It’s also true that keeping God at the center of all our relationships leads to a more peace-filled life.
Having met you in person, I can attest to the fact that your hubby is one of the most blessed men alive, ma’am. I think back to my post-divorce life and how God used that time to bring me back to Him, fully surrendered. It was then, after much work on His part, that He brought my heart’s desire. As I young fella, I dreamed of one day meeting a girl who would steal my breath away. Beautiful, funny, intelligent, witty, and encouraging. In my 20s, I settled with a then-wonderful young lady who caught my fancy. Fifteen years later, as she matured, she grew to become someone far different than I had met and married. Looking back, I recognize that I had changed too. It didn’t take a decade for me, but it did require a move halfway across the country, leaving behind all that I had known and loved. Twenty-seven years later, I still thank God each day for the wonderful helpmate He brought into my life. Some ten years ago, my wife reached her salvation moment. I assure your other readers that having God in the center of our marriage makes it stronger.
Thanks for sharing a little more of your story, J.D. I witness from afar the love and respect you and Ms. Diane feel for each other. God has indeed blessed you, as in His graciousness, He has blessed me too.
Appreciate your friendship, sir.
I learned more about you, Candyce. You’ve shared how marriage can bring heartbreak when relationships fracture. But you’ve shown how love can blossom and grow again AND how we can keep those bonds strong. Thank you. I received a blessing from your message.
Thanks, Katherine for your kind words of support. Hope you’re enjoying some warmer days filled with sunshine. We’re starting to get a few after lots of cold and rain.